She suffers in silence, never allowing anyone in, even former friends that stood by her after the tragedy, convincing herself that it's for their benefit to not be associated with her. There's also a part of her that wonders if she, too, will end up like her father. Her father murdered their small town's star athlete, and as a result Aysel carries a burden of guilt of the incident. What happened?īe warned: Unhidden spoilers and very personal feelings ahead.Īysel is battling depression in the aftermath of a public tragedy that befell her family. And for about 60% of the book, I got just that, but somewhere along the way, My Heart and Other Black Holes got ridiculously lost and confused. I was excited for it because it's a topic that needs more awareness and understanding. So I was expecting a novel about discovering yourself, overcoming depression and finding something to live for. My Heart and Other Black Holes had so much potential-a lot of novel accurately described what it feels like to be depressed. I came really close to DNFing this book at 96% on principle alone because I was fed one thing in the beginning of the novel, only to be force fed something entirely different by the end. Ultimately, she must choose between wanting to die or trying to convince Roman to live so they can discover the potential of their energy together. But as their suicide pact becomes more concrete, Aysel begins to question whether she really wants to go through with it.
Even though Aysel and Roman have nothing in common, they slowly start to fill in each other's broken lives. But once she discovers a website with a section called Suicide Partners, Aysel's convinced she's found her solution-Roman, a teenage boy who's haunted by a family tragedy, is looking for a partner. There's only one problem: she's not sure she has the courage to do it alone. With a mother who can barely look at her without wincing, classmates who whisper behind her back, and a father whose violent crime rocked her small town, Aysel is ready to turn her potential energy into nothingness.
Sixteen-year-old physics nerd Aysel is obsessed with plotting her own death. A stunning novel about the transformative power of love, perfect for fans of Jay Asher and Laurie Halse Anderson.
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